“This Is Me”


It is a new day. It is a new year. We have the amazing opportunity on this day to rise up and touch the sky. On this day, we can honor our capacities and allow our spirit to move through them. On this day, we can let the magic happen. We can break the spell of that which has kept us in an old pattern, is not real and is not serving. We can break through and be the truth of ourselves. We are stepping into the new. We are here. What we do and say matters.

Speaking about who we are, I recently got the results of my Ancestry test. I thought, I don’t really know my full lineage. I’ll find out through the ancestry test. I know I am a God-being and an angel, but I really want to know who I am. Not really! I really did it because I was sure I had some lineage from Africa, and I wanted to see if I did. And lo and behold, I have no African heritage. I’m 7% Scandinavian! I thought, where did that come from? That’s where the Vikings are from—maybe that’s where my warrior energy comes from! I was a little disappointed not to have some of Africa in my blood.

The results confirmed everything I already knew, based on family information. I know I’ve got this and this and this, and it’s all right there, confirmed in the Ancestry chart. I did the test to possibly break a spell, thinking that perhaps there was some information about me in my genetics that I was unaware of. And obviously, having 7% Scandinavian is new. While it is not a life-changing piece of information, it did what I intended to have happen—it revealed that things are different from what I thought. I might get one of those horned hats and wear it on occasion to call in my great-great-great-grandmother or grandfather!

I find there is a big promotion these days for people to find out their ancestry. I see ads on television, on the Internet and in written media. Perhaps this is addressing the hunger people have to know themselves, to feel there is something special about them. They are probably not feeling it with their life as it is, and yet they know there is more. I can tell you something special about yourself: you are an angel, a son or daughter of God. Which will have more impact—finding out you are German when you thought you were Irish or finding out you are an angel when you thought you were only human?

I want to observe my ancestry with humility and understanding. Yes, this is my lineage. It is what got me here, but it ain’t where I’m going. I know to get where I am going I need to use everything I’ve got. Where I’m going requires me to be really centered in the power of the Being I am. That centering allows me to break away from all the things that are not assisting me in serving my purpose, and magnify all the things that are. Who I am and a lot of what I know is wonderful. It is useful to be the revelation of who I am through what I’ve got. Judging and cursing my past doesn’t help, nor does the longing to be something other than I am.

Human beings try to change themselves into what they think will make people see them, appreciate them, value them. We make choices so that we will look as though we have some power in the world. We want a position that makes us feel that other people will think we really know what we are doing. Or we want to be seen as having studied, as more intelligent than others. We want our lives to look successful, measured by some cultural criteria. Two generations ago, in this country you were successful if your family was fed and warm. Currently success often looks like living beyond your means. I want to free you all from the idea that what you have done is defining you and is the map for where you are going. Where you are going is much greater than where you have been, if you so choose. If you recognize the power of the Being you are, that incarnated to use all this, what the rest of your life can be about is amazing.

I recently saw the movie The Greatest Showman. It’s about P. T. Barnum’s life. In this story, they show how P. T. Barnum, played by the wonderful and sexy Hugh Jackman, noticed that people were fascinated with curiosities. In the time period of this story, things were very different from the way they are now. The idea of a stuffed zebra being in a room was unusual, because people didn’t have televisions or the means to travel to see what was going on in Africa and other parts of the world. I remember that when I was a little girl a souvenir coming from another part of the globe was amazing. Now you can find them everywhere. Bracelets that were made out of bone from somewhere in Africa, or cloth that came from India or was made of silk from Japan. This was the exception and was very special. Those things are not hard to find these days.

Back to the story… P.T. Barnum was noticing how unusual people would also draw the same kind of attention. He wanted to take advantage of that fact while maintaining the integrity of the people and allowing them to benefit from it, rather than be mocked or ostracized. He decided to empower these people, to let them be in their own strength and power. He encouraged them to be themselves. His view, in the movie, was that these are unusual things and people—why not participate in the celebration of the uniqueness? The beauty of it, in the movie, is the declaration by the people who are in the circus—the declaration of their own power and their own identity.

There is a song in the movie called “This Is Me,” which declares this experience. I would like to read some of the words from it.

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
’Cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one’ll love you as you are

Anybody felt that way? I certainly have. Tried to change myself so that I would be worthy of people loving me.

But I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

I want you to live in that glorious place represented in that song.

“This is me!” Feel the glory? This is a powerful statement. This is me. I take full responsibility to be me, and I am glorious. And I will not let the bullets of things that are said to me break me down. That is part of the lines that I didn’t read:

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away ’cause today, I won’t let the shame sink in

Let us not be shamed by the way the world thinks we should be, because as an angel, as a daughter or a son of God, it is essential that this “me” show up. Otherwise we are buying into a program that says we are not valuable and what we do doesn’t matter. What we do matters, and it matters that we deliver the goods. Emissaries of Divine Light has a mission statement that includes the words “under the inspiration of God.” Let us not make choices based on our scars and wounds. Let us not make choices based on wanting to be seen or loved. I recently wrote these words, trying to capture the often misguided choices we make.

You may have thought having power or position over another would make you feel important
It won’t
You may have thought being seen as lovely or articulate would make you feel valuable
It won’t
You may have thought wearing the right clothes, looking young and successful, would make you feel wanted and needed
It doesn’t
It might for a moment
But it is unsustainable, unsatisfying
You matter
That is what is important
That is what is valuable
That is what is wanted and needed
That is what is satisfying
One real person loving another real person
Give me that
Let me take care of that
Let me create with that

As the song declares, “This is me.” And I will succeed. What I do will be valuable and important.

We need to follow the right guiding star. We need to stay open to the inspiration of God. Do not let others’ harsh words and opinions cause you to follow a path of reaction. I have made decisions to avoid discomfort, and then had to find my way back. There is discomfort in bringing the truth, bringing your true identity into the world. This is me. And you know, not everybody likes me. Now this may come as a surprise—not everybody likes you. So what? Maybe they didn’t like me because they knew I had Scandinavian lineage! I have had someone say to me that they realized we had tension between us because I had Polish in my background and they had Russian, so it was kind of inevitable. Wow! I make really good Polish food—that’s a good thing. And even better Italian food! Let that dissolve the imagined tension.

There are people who will shoot bullets of shame at you, and there are messages that come, telling you, “Be ashamed of the scars you carry.” There are many stories about people who were abused as a child and they are embarrassed about it. They didn’t do anything wrong. There is nothing to be ashamed of. But they are, because they have scars and wounds and bruises that they don’t want people to know about or to see. If you have suffered and are present, be glorious. This is me, and I am glorious. Are you glorious? I think so.

As a son or daughter of God, as an angel incarnate in physical form, that is your true identity. Your physical, mental and emotional capacities are perfectly designed for the revelation of that identity. And when you say, “This is me,” that is who is present—not just this flesh, this glorious flesh. A friend of mine once said, “If you are still alive, there is hope.” There is hope that everything that you do can be the revelation of the wonder of heaven, because that is what you are designed to do. You are a heavenly Being in physical form, a gorgeous reflection of the design. And because you are that, we get to do this together in the ecstasy of communion, Being-to-Being. Sometimes we have to deal with the pain of when it’s not working, or when we are learning, but when it is working—heaven on earth.

This opportunity is glorious! This is gorgeous because we are alive and we are here together. This is a new year. Let us rejoice and be glad for the opportunities that lie ahead of us.

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Fiona Gawronsky
Fiona Gawronsky
January 13, 2018 5:35 am

I am who I am meant to be…
This is me!

What does it mean to be content? To be acceptable to oneself and to whom-ever else?

There is huge effort and industry in trying to generate acceptability; to be perfect. To think that who I am is not good enough. Money, manipulation, plastic surgery, clothing, qualifications, Facebook likes, etc., etc. But, at what point do I simply be with myself and acknowledge my existence.

This does not mean that things cannot change. I believe that true change comes from a point of acceptance, love and understanding; from surrender. I think at the heart level I can truly love things just because… that’s the way they show up, in this moment. The heart is not superficial or judgemental, it sees beyond; it is the contact point with the cosmic field, and all of creation.

Therefore, can I take a moment to see my value in the cosmic plan in this moment, in this world, in the universe and beyond. That I am part of a grand and wholesome design. I am not lost, mistaken or forsaken. I am meant to be.

Andrew Horwood
Andrew Horwood
January 10, 2018 3:50 pm

In conversations I’ve had recently, I’ve been struck by the longing in people’s hearts to be able to say “This IS Me” and be at peace with it. For so many people, there’s an attempt to belong by customising themselves in some way as you described. Until the discomfort of that gets so great that, as Mary Oliver writes, “One day you finally knew what you had to do and began… determined to save the only life you could save” It’s through being who we are, the incarnate Angel, and expressing that reality into the world that I can save the only life I can save – mine.

I join you in calling for that from me, whenever I’m tempted to settle for less. I join you in calling for that from all people. I join you in providing opportunities for people to discover their Angelic identity, which may initially seem a little strange, like new clothing that you’re trying on for the first time. I join you in celebrating every expression of the Angel wherever it shows up.

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