We, as human beings, can get wrapped up in the pattern of life that we are living and forget our relationship with the origin of that life. That forgetfulness leads to dwindling joy and dwindling fulfillment. Life runs down for us as human beings if we have forgotten the renewing power of the Father and Mother of Creation within us, and we end up feeling lost.
The wonder of our primal spirituality is that Father and Mother God are always present to call upon. They are the renewing power of our life and the origin of the whole pattern of life all around us. All that life came from someplace. When we forget where it came from and forget the origins of it within ourselves, and forget how to access it, we are subjecting ourselves to a pattern of lack. And then we can well wonder, where did it all go?
Caught up in a sense of lack, a person can get lost in a human personality drama that is filled with victimhood—feeling victimized by other people and victimized by life itself. And feeling victimized, they can blame others for their experience, and thereby justify moving from victimhood to persecutor, irrationally inflicting their own misery on others. This is all part of the human personality drama. If you find yourself in any of those roles, don’t believe it. Access the Father and the Mother who are within you. Do a human system override.
The quality of discernment is so good for so many things. If you are going to the grocery store and you are picking out the best frozen peas, it helps to have the keen eye of a shopper who can discern the best frozen peas to buy. You look at the price. You might remember that your last experience with Birds Eye frozen peas was the best. And so, that’s the one!
But while the quality of discernment is good for buying frozen peas, and for many other decisions people have to make, it can also wreak havoc in a human life. It seems to me that what so often happens is that people live a life of discernment run amok, so that in situations where it doesn’t really help to be using the virtue of discernment, that’s exactly what a person is doing. Then discernment becomes judgment, and they become the judge, jury and executioner for the people in their life.
Relationship—and particularly with people close to us—works best when there is an element of commitment to it. In a deeply committed relationship, living in judgment of that other person, deciding whether you want to be with them or not, and doing that perpetually, is not really helpful. A committed relationship is when you’re living in the assumption “I’m in, and let’s see how we can allow this to happen. And no matter what happens, I’m here for it.”
Traditional wedding vows speak to this: For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health… That is very different from perpetually living in “I’m not sure about you.”
Of course, in every relationship there have to be elements of discernment and even judgment, not only in marriage but in all relationships and in all of life. And still, in doing a job, it helps to do it as if you are committed to it forever, and to the people with whom you are working. The time comes when the cycle of that job is over. Friendships of all kinds fade in and out of a person’s life. And yet as long as they are there, the relationship will go much further if it is a committed one.
When you live your life on a committed basis, you are leaving it up to the cycles of life itself to bring people and circumstances to you and to send them away. When you live on that basis, you are living out of what is eternally real about you, and you are touching and relating to what is eternally real about the other person.
It’s possible to live your whole life this way. Every relationship is going to come to an end sometime. As far as I know, our lives on earth are going to come to an end sometime too. But I’m still here for it. I’m here to eat it up. I’m committed to this life; I’m here for this human being who I think of as me.
Do you ever think that thought for yourself? In a troubling time, do you ever sit yourself down and say, “You know what, Dave (or whatever your name is)? Whatever happens, no matter how bad this gets, I’m here for you. I’m in.”
When you’re “in” in your life, “in” for a relationship, “in” for your job, “in” for your family, when you’re truly in, yes, there’s discernment. But that kind of discernment is a lot different from the choice of whether or not you’re going to buy the Birds Eye frozen peas. It’s discernment of what would be creative from you in this circumstance. What could help?
When a person lives a committed life, they are in touch with the point of origin for that life, and they are taking responsibility for being that point of origin themselves. They are in touch with the beginning point for what is unfolding all around them and using discernment to allow it to unfold in the most creative way possible.
If you believe that there is a new world to be born on Planet Earth and a new experience for humanity to be born, how would it go if you were the Adam or the Eve for that new experience? In other words, what if you were the beginning of it? What if it was all going to proliferate from you? Would you be bringing that new world? Would the quality of what you are expressing in your life—the blessing that you’re bringing, the vision that you’re living—be something that you would be confident to say would be a good beginning point for a new world?
I’ve been thinking about that for myself—thinking about the quality of thought and feeling and therefore the action that follows, coming from me, and what’s growing from it. There are so many horrible things that happen in the world in which we live. Some of them are further afield, such as the recent shooting in Orlando, Florida—truly horrible. Some of them come right close to home from supposed friends—horrible words, horrible actions. It’s so easy, in the face of all that, to live a reactive life.
A reactive life is the life of the victim. Apparently, it becomes so easy to base everything you’re going to be thinking about and feeling, and the actions that follow, on what has happened around you—to live an essentially reactive life. That begins with the role of the victim. But what I’ve noticed is some of the greatest victims are some of the worst perpetrators, because people’s victimhood justifies their perpetration, if you didn’t notice. If you looked at the life history of some of the world’s worst perpetrators, you will find that it started with a sense of victimhood.
You cannot be the Adam or the Eve who is the initiation point for a new world by living a life of reaction. Yes, things happen in our lives, horrible things sometimes. And then the question becomes “And what are you going to do? What are you giving? Who are you being? What’s the quality of love that you’re emanating?” You can’t be a way-shower while living in reactive thought and feeling.
The world in which we live, and most particularly the new world we are seeking to create, is based on something very simple to be replicated millions and even billions of times. That very simple thing is friendship. It is the relationship that you have with another person. And what I believe is that, just like me, your relationship with any person is the same as the relationship that you’re having with all people. The way you are being with one person is the way you are being with all people. It may look different on the surface. If you’re prone to judgment, you may treat some people nicely because you like them and some other people not so nicely because you don’t like them. But in the end, underneath all that, you’re actually treating them both the same because you’re treating them both based on your judgment.
If you are loving, and relating to people based on unconditional, radiant love, you are relating to everybody that way. After all, your love is unconditional—not dependent on who the person is to whom you are relating. And if you are not doing that with any person, then you are not relating to anybody with unconditional love. Radiant, unconditional love doesn’t pick and choose. And therefore if you’re relating to people with unconditional love, you are relating to everybody that way.
Lloyd Arthur Meeker, who wrote under the pen name Uranda, gave a talk at Sunrise Ranch many years ago. He named it simply “Friendship.” Here is an excerpt from it:
Now when there is this pattern of friendship—a pattern of harmony; the individuals are not being constantly critical of each other, not finding fault with each other, not looking to each other to find an excuse for personal failure, not trying to blame each other—something divine, something beautiful, begins to take form. They are sowing and they begin to reap. They are not expecting rewards from each other; they are not trying to get something from each other. They are genuine in their attitude toward each other. They have no desire to maintain a front or to deceive each other. Here you begin to see some of the basic necessities for establishing a condition which allows the generation of pneumaplasm.
Pneumaplasm was a word he used to describe spirit substance, the atmosphere of love known in a person’s life and generated among people. He goes on to say:
On Sunrise Ranch we have been able to generate a little pneumaplasm, but almost always, when we have begun to build up a little reserve so that we were not without resource in this regard, human beings would begin to try to get something, they would begin to react in one way or another. The little resource that we had built up in the generation of pneumaplasm would be dissipated in some way, and there would be a sowing of those things which we have reaped, in the sense of limitations, difficulties and discords. Oh I know you have made a lot of progress, and I thank God for it—we are moving forward—but that progress has been much slower than it needs to be. One of the things you need to remember is that you sow that which is characteristic of your genuine, inside attitudes toward others. When you maneuver to try to get something, get recognition or anything else, you are sowing emptiness and you will reap it. If you want attention, if you are trying to get consideration for yourself, you are sowing emptiness, and that is what you will reap. If you feel that you are not properly appreciated, you are sowing emptiness and loneliness. “As ye sow, so also shall ye reap.” It is the expression out from yourself that is the sowing; not what you are trying to gather into yourself to plant, as you may think, in the garden of your life, not what you try to get from others, but what you give to others. Therein is your true sowing.
Sharp words, as relevant today as the day he spoke them, it seems to me. I love what he said. Paraphrased, it goes like this: It’s what’s on the inside that counts.
What is the underlying attitude that I have toward my friend? Is this a committed relationship, or am I buying frozen peas?
A person’s life changes when they begin to make a commitment in friendship to the people who are in their life.
It’s going to work differently for different people, depending on who they are and how they’re relating to you. And every relationship is different. But the underlying attitude, from me and from you, in any relationship could be the same. Regardless of how you are acting, I am not in a mode of reaction. Yes, it smarts when somebody else says or does something that’s unkind. But my actions, my attitudes, my feelings are based in who I am and what I am bringing to the world.
The outer pattern of my life is not determining who I am. My Mother and Father are determining who I am. And I am continually accessing that reality so that I can bring the product of their coming together in me, which is life, and life more abundantly. Then I have that life to give. I always have more of that to give because I’m not reactive to what’s happening around me. Reaction is a recipe for less and less life. Response to the Mother and Father within is accessing what produces life.
I’ll never forget one of the first things that I read that came from Sunrise Ranch. I was living in Connecticut, in high school at the time. I got a little booklet entitled Lighting the Way in You. It contained these words: Every kick becomes a boost. In other words, everything that comes to you that may be unkind from out of the world, actually boosts you—or potentially does if you’re functioning creatively—into a closer, more intimate relationship with your Mother and Father.
Really, when you receive something unkind from another person, there are just two choices: one is reaction, and the other is to let every kick become a boost. Every kick is impetus and energy for me to join more closely with the origins of my own Being, to be that more and bring more of that. From a practical standpoint, not a bad strategy! It is not a bad strategy, in the difficulties of life, to access the “more” that’s within us: more love, more truth, more power, more strength. To take the attitude I’m here for this, I’m committed to my life, and I’m bringing the more into my life, no matter what happens. I’m living a committed life. I’m having a committed relationship. I’m committed in my job, not because I’m a hard worker—because I’m living a committed life. I’m here for this. And yes, there are cycles of life, and nothing is forever, and I’ll let the cycles of life work. But I’m here for it all.
The more that’s a person’s attitude, the more they find that they are not going anyplace. They are standing still, in place, and their life is coming to them. The things that don’t belong are leaving. There’s some discernment and choice, but it’s amazing; when you are consistently true to yourself in the living of your life, your world is making the choice. The pattern of Creation is moving, based on the emanation that’s coming from you and what needs to be with you, what’s drawn to be with you. What does not need to be with you is therefore repelled.
This is divine justice. It works pretty well if you let it.
This is the basis for the patterns of evolution and growth in our world at all levels. The ignorant person judges the patterns of evolution. They think it should all be perfect according to their own vision here and now. It is perfect now, but not according to your vision or mine. It’s perfect in the process of evolution, and it’s all going where it needs to go, the good parts and the bad. The critical factor is whether I’m here for it, whether we’re here for it. If you think of what’s happening on the whole planet, the same is true.
For this to become vivid and real and practical for us, we need to have a deep connection to the source of Creation with us. And then, we have to express that reality in the face of all our reactive thinking and feeling, so that we can do a system override, saying, in essence, No, I’m here to surrender in this. I’m here to bring a higher love in this, a higher wisdom, a higher truth than I’ve known. I’m doing a system override in the middle of this.
The whole body of humanity is in need of a system override. Let’s bring it on, starting with ourselves.