The Glory of Being Myself
I’m up for full self emergence—living my life in a way that sees every circumstance as an opportunity to express the fullness of who I am. How about you? It’s the only game in town, as far as I’m concerned. There’s an imperative that’s moving in my life, and I suspect for all of us in these days, that’s demanding that of us. Full self emergence—it’s got nothing to do with improved character or inflated personality. It’s got to do with who we truly are at the very core of ourselves, coming into expression through our capacities of body, mind and heart. And when that happens, those capacities, though sometimes stretched, are quite capable of carrying the power that they were designed to carry. That’s my current experience.
In some ways it’s a real and recent experience for me. For most of January, my wife Ruth and I were traveling, spending time at Riverdell, an Emissary community near Adelaide in Australia, where we taught the Deepening class. On our return journey back to Cape Town we spent three days in Singapore, where we conducted two afternoon and two evening public events. I can report that throughout that time there were many opportunities for me to go beyond my habitual and comfortable boundaries. I now feel well used, well challenged, and I feel good about delivering what I agreed to deliver. There’s still more to come from me and, no doubt, from each of us. But that’s what full self emergence requires of us: to increasingly come forth through the opportunities that come to us, as fully as we can. To the degree that we do, the truth is known and the honesty and integrity that is so crucial for our world is present, because I am present and because I bring that into expression in every possible way I can.
Over the past few weeks my capacities have been stretched in various ways like never before! Now and then I got a message from them, saying, “No, no, no, please—not again! Please don’t put me through this again!” And I would say to my capacities, “Just get on with it. This is what you are made for. This is your destiny. This is why I brought you here.” And then, as I moved my capacities into the process at hand, they seemed to turn around to me and say, “You’re telling me to do what?” And I would say again, “Go to it. This is why you’re here. Therein lies your fulfillment.”
I was interested in an experience that I had just a day ago as I was watching a video of myself that was recorded at Riverdell at one of the Sunday services. I don’t very often get the opportunity to see myself in action. Part of me was horrified. I had no idea that I looked like that or sounded like that to other people. That’s very different to what I experience of myself from the inside. Having got over the shock, I used that experience as an opportunity to come to terms with my own humanity in a very direct way. There I was, in all my glory, in action, doing the best that I could, emerging as fully as I could in that situation, expressing the truth I know with some passion, and it’s not for me to judge that expression. In fact, I can get to a place of relishing my humanity just as it is and saying, “Yes, you’ve got a way to go before you can express all the dimensions of who I am. But you’re not doing a bad job. Thank you.”
I’m now aware that, from the perspective of my capacities, those capacities will always seem to be imperfect and inadequate—judging themselves, assessing themselves. But I now know better than that, because actually they’re perfect for what they are required to do in the moment. I’m so glad to have realized that. I’m so glad to have chosen to be in situations where the pressure was on and I had to deliver—no time to contemplate possible failure, no way out. If there had been an escape hatch I might well have used it, but there wasn’t. So I just had to stand and deliver. And the experience of victory coming through to the other side of that is worth any discomfort! It’s worth everything in my life—knowing the fulfillment of delivering and expressing the fullness of myself the best I know how.
While pondering the experiences of the past few weeks, I started noting some of the attributes that got me through and past my blockages. Here is my list so far:
- Determination—just a determination to do the job that I’ve accepted, to do the job that I agreed to do, to follow through and do whatever is needed to meet the requirements and get the job done, deliver the goods.
- A vision of what’s possible—to be able to see beyond my own elements of apparent limitation and discomfort, whatever might be restricting or distorting my view. To see beyond that and to see the inherent potential.
- A sense of destiny and purpose—something that I, along with many others, have been deliberately developing for some time now—the greater destiny and purpose that awaits us, individually and together.
- The support and inspiration of the people around me. That’s of huge assistance when fear and limitation rear up and seem to be so large.
- Courage—finding the wherewithal to do it anyway; to maintain momentum, to keep taking the necessary steps, one after the other.
- And finally—on this list anyway, and probably most importantly, passion. Passion—the energy that drives us to do what it is that we love to do most.
At the end of the day, I’m here with you to bring the magic of Creation in so many glorious ways—nothing less than that. Nothing less than that will do anymore. There’s no room in my life for mediocrity. Stepping beyond the limitations that I have accepted in the past and finding the joy and the glory that results from bringing all that I have to bring to bear into my world as the gift that’s mine to bring—that’s what my life is about!
I’d like to conclude my time with you today by reading a poem that I wrote to best describe my experience during those three days in Singapore. I provocatively entitled it “The Glory of Being Myself.”
When the impulse to put myself out there
gets strong enough not to ignore anymore,
strange, wonderful and uncomfortable things happen.
The time for creating in a new and unfamiliar way
brings with it muscle-building and ego-busting energy
that can test the very marrow of my earthly being.
What price non-failure;
what fulfillment epic success!
What’s the motivation and where’s the victory?
Outer limitations a-plenty;
God of Infinite Possibility fully present at my core!
Do it, DO IT, DO IT!!
What can stop me—
with the flood of fiery joyflow surging to the surface,
demanding release NOW!
My soul and my world quiver with expectancy and delight
as pure light finds its way, like liquid gold
into vacant crevices of human souls.
My fulfillment, like yours, marries human desire
to Cosmic Will and you and I
will never be the same again.
February 4th, 2015
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