An exercise for spiritual transformation and personal empowerment
If you are interested in finding a safe way to go deeper in the process of personal transformation with a friend, this exercise may work well for you. The exercise allows a person to explore an area of their life, and find creative next steps for their life journey.
The form of the exercise is simple. It utilizes an interview format with a list of questions. The person playing the role of the interviewer asks the questions in order. Any irrelevant questions can be skipped. If a slight rewording of the questions helps to make it relevant, that can work well.
The person being interviewed responds as openly and candidly as they would like. There should be no sense of pressure in the exercise for the person being interviewed to share more about their life than they are comfortable sharing. There should be no pressure from the interviewer for the other person to take steps in their life that they are not ready to take.
Most importantly, the interviewer has the opportunity to practice asking the questions in a spirit of curious, loving, interest. This means that the interview should be conducted without any judgment of the person, or of any issues that arise.
The interview can assist a person to come to a new place in thought and feeling regarding important matters in their life. It can assist a person to take action regarding those matters. The interview also provides a safe context for friends to share deep matters of the heart.
We encourage you not to add to the questions as you do the interview, and we encourage you not to change the questions more than is clearly useful. At the end of the interview, a time to debrief together about the process can be useful. The whole process usually takes about thirty minutes.
As a reminder, this exercise is not a means of mental health diagnosis of any kind, and also not a substitute for professional counseling. It is simply a tool for deep, interested, curious listening and sharing.
We welcome any comments you may have on our experience. You can e-mail us at .
The transformational interview can also be downloaded as a print-friendly PDF.
- What would you like to talk about?
- What is happening for you in this?
- Why is this important to you?
- I understand that the other people involved here may have their issues to deal with, but what do you think is really going on for you at a deeper level?
- Is there a way in which this is an opportunity for transformation for you?
- What are your feelings in this situation? Anger? Sadness? Fear? Joy?
- Where do you feel that in your body?
- Can you feel that feeling just as energy?
- Could that energy assist you to bring what you have to bring to this?
- What would you like to have happen in this for you?
- What would it mean to you if that really happened?
- And why is that important to you?
- What would be different?
- What do you long for, personally, in this situation?
- What are the values you are upholding in this situation? (What is important to you in this?)
- Looking at this from the standpoint of your values, how do you think you are handling this?
- Are there any negative messages you are getting personally about yourself from this situation?
- Is there anything about this that you’ve seen before in your life?
- When was the first time anything like this happened in your experience?
- Is there anything from your prior experience that is playing out in what is happening now?
- How do you feel about that? Angry? Sad? Fearful? Joyful?
- What quality of spirit from you would let the most creative thing happen in this?
- Can you tell me your name for that quality of spirit?
- Can you tell me more about what it means to bring that quality of spirit into the world?
- Are there factors that have stopped you from bringing that quality in the past?
- So what might be at risk for you to bring that quality of spirit fully now?
- Can you take that risk in a way that works? What might be good or bad about taking that risk?
- Have there been times in your life when you have brought that quality of spirit yourself?
- Who wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you have the capacity to do that?
- What do they know about you?
- What kind of support would help you to bring that quality of spirit that you want to bring?
- Are there people in your life who have given you that kind of support, or who could give it to you now? Who?
- Do you think you are really ready to bring that quality of spirit fully into this?
- Can you love yourself as you handle this?
- Are there any practical steps you could take to let what you want to have happen do so?
- What might be at risk for you to take those steps?
- Can you take that risk in a way that works? Is that a good risk for you to take?
- How might taking that risk affect you; how might it influence your life?
- The next time we talk, can we check in on the steps you want to take?